Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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