Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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