On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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