I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
