If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
