And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
