somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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