dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
