yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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