my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
