something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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