Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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