so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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