Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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