Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
