I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
