I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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