honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
