I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
