It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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