In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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