Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
