I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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