I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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