Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
