I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The uberlube is also flammable
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sext me about skeletons
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize