Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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