Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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