ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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