That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
