what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
