do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
