my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize