I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
