I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
