i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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