we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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