If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
