Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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