I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
