i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
