I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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