I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
