dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
