dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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