$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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