I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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