They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
