I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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