sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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