He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
