It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
