Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Terrible idea I love it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize