So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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