plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just pee around me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize