just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
