Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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