so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
