there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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