He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
