Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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