my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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