you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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