whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Randomize
